The hungry turkey. Ahem!

This door does not function properly. If you are planning to use it, make someone stand outside so that she or he can open it afterwards. the door has a tendency to get stuck. People have been stuck inside in the past.

Helpful sign on the door of the women's toilets, affectionately termed La Loo, at Jadavpur University Department of English.

Money loss is no loss, luv loss is no loss, cherektar loss is all loss.

(Pearl of wisdom painted on the back of a tin-bus)

The Chowranghee Medical Stores

(Name of a medical supplies shop at Hazra, many kilometres from Chowranghi)

What went wrong between you and Yuvraj Singh?

...

It's not that I want to hide something; it's like wearing a revealing outfit. You are fine when it's decent, but you tend to cover it up when it looks a bit obscene.

I don't want to reveal facts that would make me look obscene. I mean I will be exposing a bit too much, if I talk beyond this. I have given explanations to people whom it was owed to, and I don't think that I need to talk about it any further. I love gossip, but I don't want to be the feeder for gossip-starved people.

(Kim Sharma)

from IndiaFM, courtesy of Sabrina

Jackie: Fez, I can't believe you finally lost your virginity.
Eric: Wait, wait, this isn't the time you bought a hamster, named it virginity and then lost it?

- That 70's Show, Ep. Whole Lotta Love (around 1:30 min)

O thou of noble-birth, meditate upon thine own tutelary deity. -- [Here the deity's name is to be mentioned by the reader.] Do not be distracted. Earnestly concentrate thy mind upon thy tutelary deity. Meditate upon him as if he were the reflection of the moon in water, apparent yet in-existent [in itself]. Meditate upon him as if he were a being with a physical body.O nobly-born, whatever fear and terror may come to thee in the Chonyid Bardo, forget not these words; and, bearing their meaning at heart, go forwards: in them lieth the vital secret of recognition.By thus being set face to face, however weak the mental faculties may be, there is no doubt of one's gaining Liberation. Yet, though so often set face to face, there are classes of men who, having created much bad karma, or having failed in observance of vows, or, their lot [for higher development] being altogether lacking, prove unable to recognize: their obscurations and evil karma from covetousness and miserliness produce awe of the sounds and radiances, and they flee. [If one be of these classes], then, on the Fourth Day, the Bhagavan Amitabha and his attendant deities, together with the light-path from the Preta-loka, proceeding from miserliness and attachment, will come to receive one simultaneously

-- spam in my inbox

Read.

--Link via Greatbong

Photo credit: Jabberwock. From here.

- Defaced poster, seen in Queens, New York

- seen in the library building of Northwestern University, Chicago

-Badge at a recruitment fair
- seen in Chicago

THE GAME IS HERE
Keep Distance

- on the back of a rickshaw
seen in Bombay, Oct '07

At Burrabazar

On the rear of a bus. In front of Rabindra Sadan

Just outside Howrah station

Buffy Jowan

Purchased on the Kharagpur local (8:58 AM from Howrah)

Update: Says at the bottom Nokol hoite sabdhan ('Beware of fakes')

"Rest Assured"

- company tag on toilet seat covers pack

seen in Newport News, Virginia

I Lowe My India.

Looking real Realll Beautiful..... I hope so i could see more of this Ravishing beauty... Hopee :)

--In an email, via Orkut.

The young men will embrace each other all night.

--Harsha Bhogle, on members of the Indian cricket squad after the Twenty20 World Cup Final.

Art by Botero and amused human...seen in the cente of Milan :)

Person I: Eituku bujhey ney, taholei dekhbi perey jaabi.

Person II: Bujhley toh paarbo, kintu bujhtey ki paarbo?

-Presidency College folklore. Apparently.
Since somone asked, this's from the Geology dept. Ask no further questions and you'll be told no more lies.

2D IS BUSY TO BE 3D

Username on Orkut

Be-Bonnie

Name of a ladies' beauty parlour (from a hoarding at 8B bus stand)

UG Arts building, Jadavpur University, Kolkata

Click to enlarge.

On my Orkut scrapbook. What does it mean?

I was born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse.

-- T-shirt on young man near Jadavpur Police Station, Kolkata

This. Just in case you missed. Just in case.

"At a job interview our friend S....d was asked about his political leanings- whether he was far right, left of center or what? His reply: Up front!"

- seen here.

With Penis Enlarge Patch you can catch fish with your penis.

In my spam folder.

What has nine arms and rocks?

-- over lunch, today

(Def Leppard apparently, and I honestly didn't fucking know this till this afternoon)

Put your pants down here for best results

- seen at a cleaning store

Murray Ave., Pittsburgh

Better pickups, better tuners, better frets, better fret job, better wood, better paint job, better bridge, better elctronics, better assembly, better case, better resale value, better get the American Strat!

- Betty Botter bought some butter??

(seen here)

"hybrid Aliens wanted"

-- Subject of email sent to mailing list including yours truly. For elucidation, click here.

Click on image to enlarge.

On my Orkut scrapbook.

"Real lust is the desire to eat the flesh of the one you love."

Somewhere along Hazra Road. Credit: Bhooter Raja

Hurry in but don't speed.

- State Farm Auto Insurance deal promo

(seen in Pittsburgh)

stones on a pavement outside a graveyard. inverness, scotland.

Fashion Po(0)lish

When I grow up I want to be a metro.

seen on a Calcutta tram
B.B.D Bag-Shyambazar route

CHINGLISH



Originally from here.

From here

The one above and more here



From here

Many more here.

Read this post for links to more Chinglish Magic. Thanks to Yeon-ok for pointing these out :)

Hm.....

unknown souce.. from picture on Orkut

"Hello, I'm a monkfish"
-- Seattle, WA (picture courtesy J. Prasad)

Seen on Freeskool Street , Calcutta .

ORGASM

Imported

(t-shirt message*, seen in the Calcutta metro)

*Wearer flaunted five astrological rings, three religious lockets on two thick chains and one each of a red and black thread around her wrists. Just saying.

Terrifying on many levels.

Deconstruction

Eleven individuals in the Indian cricket team.

Eleven individuals.

Eleven.

Individual.

In-di-aaah!

Seen off Brigade Road,Blore.

...Finally, Bengalis have arrived! My dream is to see a Bengali playing Bond - asking for a Vodka Martini, wearing Dhuti on a Bijoya Dasami afternoon as someone has hidden a nuclear bomb inside the Asur's gut. Not exactly there yet, but good progress.

-- okay, another one from the same source

telling you peepul, this guy rocks...maaney, total effing types:)

Guru-r Kripai Aishwarya-labh!

- cheeky ad supposedly sighted at the Book Fair

(Source here).

Come darkness and the city's [Calcutta] pavements are flooded with prostitutes and pimps. An indication perhaps, of the average Bengali mentality? Or the cruel aftermath of an extended rule of the Left?

(Seen here)

Be Life Confident.

[in a sqiggly blue letters]

Catchline for Bharati AXC Insurances
(seen all over the Calcutta metro-stations)

Couldn't resist speading this one. The Bheatles bit cracked me up totally...

> A is for Apish (Office). This is where the average Kolkatan goes and spends a day hard(ly) at work. If he is in the Government he will arriveat 10, wipe his forehead till 11, have a tea break at 12, throw around afew files at 12.30, break for lunch at 1, smoke an unfiltered cigarette at 2, break for tea at 3, sleep sitting down at 4 and go home at 5. It's a hard life!

> > B is for Bhijon. (As in teli-bhijon) For some reason most of the Bengalis don't have good bhijon. In fact in Kolkata most people are wearing spectacles all the time. The effects of this show in the city!

> > C is for Chappell. This is the Bengali word for the Devil, for the worst form of evil. In the night mothers put their kids to sleep saying 'go to bed, or Chappell will come and take you away.'

> > D is for Debashish. By an ancient law every fourth Bengali Child has to be named Debashish. So you have a Debashish everywhere and trying to get creative they are also called Deb, Debu, Deba with variations like Debnath and Deboprotim thrown in.

> > E is for Eeesh. This is a very common Bengali exclamation made famous by Aishwarya Rai in the movie Devdas. It is estimated that on an average a Bengali uses eeesh 10,089 times every year. (That's counting eeesh andother eeesh-ish words).

> > F is for Feesh. These are creatures that swim in rivers and seas and are a favourite food of the Bengalis. Despite the fact that a fishmarket has such strong smells, with one sniff a Bengali knows if a fish is all right. If not, he will say 'eeesh, what feeesh is theeesh!'

> > G is for Good name. Every Bengali Boy will have a good name likeDebashish or Deboprotim and a pet name like Shontuda, Chonti, and Dinku. While every Bengali Girl will be Paromita or Protima as well as Shampa, Champa and Buri. Basically your nickname is there to kill your goodname.

> > H is for Harmonium. The Bengali equivalent of a rock guitar. Take four Bengalis and a Harmonium and you have the successors to The Bheatles!

> > I is for lleesh. This is a feeesh with 10,000 bones which would kill any ordinary person, but which the Bengalis eat with releeesh!

> > J is for Jhola. No self respecting Bengali is complete without his Jhola. It is a shapeless cloth bag where he keeps all his belongings and he fits an amazing number of things in. Even as you read this there are 2 million jholas bobbling around Kolkata- and they all look exactly thesame!

> > K is for Kee Kando. It used to be the favourite Bengali exclamation till eeesh took over because of Aishwarya Rai (now Kee Kando's agent is trying to hire Bipasha Basu).

> > L is for Lungi. People in Kolkata manage to play football and cricket wearing it. Now there is talk of a lungi expedition to Mt. Everest.

> > M is for Minibus. These are dangerous half buses whose antics would effortlessly frighten the living daylights out of Formula 1 racedrivers.

> > N is for Nangtoe. This is the Bengali word for Naked. It is the most interesting naked word in any language!

> > O is for Oil. The Bengalis believe that a touch of mustard oil will cure anything from cold (oil in the nose), to earache (oil in the ear), to cough (oil on the throat) to piles (oil you know where!)

> > P is for Phootball. This is always a phavourite phassion of the Kolkattan. Every Bengali is born an expert in this game. The two biggest clubs there are Mohunbagan and East Bengal and when they play the city comes to a stop.

> > Q is for Queen. This really has nothing to do with the Bengalis or Kolkata, but it's the only Q word I could think of at this moment. There's also Quilt but they never use them in Kolkata.

> > R is for Robi Thakur. Many years ago Rabindranath got the Nobel Prize.This allows everyone in Kolkata to frame their acceptance speeches andwalk with their head held high and look down at Delhi and Mumbai!

> > S is for Sardarjee whom Bengalis are very envious of because he isborn with a semi-monkey cap on.

> > T is for Trams. Hundred years later there are still trams in Kolkata. Of course if you are in a hurry it's faster to walk.

> > U is for Ambrela. When a Bengali baby is born they are handed one.

> > V is for Violence. Bengalis are the most non-violent violent people around. When an accident happens they will shout and scream and curse and abuse, but the last time someone actually hit someone was in 1979.

> > W is for Water. For three months of the year the city is under water and every year for the last 200 years the authorities are taken by surprise by this!

> > X is for X mas. It's very big in Kolkata, with Park Street fully litup.

> > Y is for Yastarday. Which is always better than today for a Bengali.

> > Z is for Jeebra, Joo, Jip and Jylophone.

swadesi hardware: house of sanitary pleasure
- 8B bus stand

Nymph Food

Name of stationary shop selling icecream on the side.
Deshapriya Park.

Dick's Last Resort

-(Sign outside a building in Chicago)

OBGARB THE TRAFICK RULS

- On an auto plying the Golpark-Garia route in Calcutta.

quite a common medical issue in Malaysia apparently :P

For the unitiated "Gand" in Hindi = Bottom

from a picture on Orkut - courtesy Abhishek Chatterjee

- The infatuation of the arse.

Wall Street, NYC