Friday, December 29, 2006
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Sunday, December 10, 2006
I really don't know where to start
but I definitely know you've captured my heart,
It started that night you called me up,
to see if I'd play in the Starlight Cup
Way back then, little did we know,
That our love for one another could grow and grow,
A text message or two is what kept us in touch
And I want you to know that I love you so much
It wasn't'til late in 2004
That I received another phone call
When we decided to meet,
we went up the street for something to eat,
From that day on I've been by your side
And look at me now,
I am here as your bride!
I used to wish upon a star
that I'd meet the perfect husband
- and here you are!
You're an inspiration to so many including me,
Anyone who's ever met you can count
I'm so lucky I've found the one,
Being with you I have nothing but fun,
You are my best friend and my dream come true
And I'm so glad to be sharing all this with you
This is only the start of our dream together,
But I promise to love you until forever
I can't wait to start my life with you,
Just being together, our dreams will come true
I have no doubt I'm glad to be your wife,
And being with me is now a part of your life
I admire you for so many reasons,
I mean look at what happened at the Four Seasons!
We're about to experience the miracle of life,
but always remember I'm so proud to be your wife,
Having a family with you makes me so glad,
I know I'll never get sad,
Thanks so much for choosing me,
By sticking together we'll make a great family
Engaged and then married and now one on the way,
I'll take such good care of you every day,
It's safe to say I'll love you more and more
And marrying you today, I couldn't be more sure.
Rebecca Hewitt! I'm your wife!
I promise you one thing, stick with me and you'll have a bloody good life!
(Rebecca Cartwright's poem celebrating her union with Leyton Hewitt)
I would like to send my condolences out to Catherine Altman, Robert Altman's wife, as well as all of his immediate family, close friends, co-workers, and all of his inner circle.
I feel as if I've just had the wind knocked out of me and my heart aches. If not only my heart but the heart of Mr. Altman's wife and family and many fellow actors/artists that admire him for his work and love him for making people laugh whenever and however he could.
Robert Altman made dreams possible for many independent aspiring filmmakers, as well as creating roles for countless actors.
I am lucky enough to of been able to work with Robert Altman amongst the other greats on a film that I can genuinely say created a turning point in my career.
I learned so much from Altman and he was the closest thing to my father and grandfather that I really do believe I've had in several years.
The point is, he made a difference.
He left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do.
So every day when you wake up.
Look in the mirror and thank god for every second you have and cherish all moments.
The fighting, the anger, the drama is tedious.
Please just take each moment day by day and consider yourself lucky to breathe and feel at all and smile. Be thankful.
Life comes once, doesn't 'keep coming back' and we all take such advantage of what we have.
When we shouldn't.....
Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves' (12st book)
– Everytime there's a triumph in the world a million souls hafta be trampled on. – Altman
Its true. But treasure each triumph as they come.
If I can do anything for those who are in a very hard time right now, as I'm one of them with hearing this news, please take advantage of the fact that I'm just a phone call away.
God Bless, peace and love always.
(originally published here)
Monday, November 27, 2006
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Saturday November 18, 2006
Barbara Cartland was mistakenly included in our catalogue of inspiring women (and in the accompanying illustration) for having fought for decent pensions (From lesbian vets to Donatella Versace, page 14, G2, yesterday). We meant Barbara Castle, the former Labour cabinet minister and MP for Blackburn who later became Baroness Castle, and who campaigned on pensions and equal pay until her death at the age of 91 in 2002. She was, fortunately, celebrated in a subsequent contribution in the same piece. Barbara Cartland was famous for her romantic novels, which she wrote until her 90s, and her signature pink outfits.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Subject: Jhumpa Lahiri tonight at the Carnegie Music Hall (Oakland), 7:30pm
Date Mon, November 20, 2006 2:31 pm
Just so you know, Jhumpa Lahiri is giving a talk at tonight. She wrote Interpreter of Maladies and The Namesake. She's also the hottest author to win the Pulitzer Prize for fiction in the past ten years.
You can get student tickets for $8 at the Carnegie Library or buy 'em at the door. If they sell out you can usually buy the tickets of people who don't show up if you're willing to wait.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
...normally sensible, well-educated parents are resorting to increasingly insane measures to outdo other families and give their offspring the edge.
From mothers who secretly train at home for the grown-ups’ egg-and-spoon race on school sports day, to those who follow the school bus on its trip to France in case any harm might come to their offspring, parents are taking it to the extreme...
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Intikhab rubbished speculations that the panel was unfairly harsher on Akhtar than Asif. "If people read our statement they will understand," Intikhab asserted. "He [Shoaib] drinks alcohol, has an active sex life and he's been part of anti-doping awareness programmes. Shoaib has been around for the last ten years and the written statement that his spokesman gave about him taking dietary supplements and not consulting a doctor, shows he was negligent."
On Asif he said: "We decided to ban him for a year because his English is not that good, he comes from a remote village where he would not have been educated on the dangers of drugs in sport and so he doesn't understand."
Saturday, November 04, 2006
With Lux Inter Body Lotion 250 ml
Juhu department store
Oh good. I've always wanted to own a lofth. Now if someone can tell me what a lofth is.
On the other hand, I don't want this Lux Inter Body Lotion. Take it off my hands, please? One jipkew free inside.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
& scream howzzzzzat!!!
Do More Live More
Charges Rs 6/- per minute
So let me make sure I've understood this. I can dial a number on my phone, then scream at whoever or whatever answers, and I'll only be charged Rs 6 per minute for the privilege?
Cheap at the price! Excuse me while I dial, won't you?
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
- Yahan peshab karna mana hai. Yahan peshab karne wala andha va darinda, kusht rogi hota hai aur papi hai.
[Trans: It is forbidden to pee here. The guy who pees here is blind and good-for-nothing, leprous and a sinner.]
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Monday, August 28, 2006
... He went as he would have wanted: stoned in bed with a beautiful girl and without any pain...
...one of the most frightening things to happen to me was an incident concerning this chick...were asleep in the bed one morning and the first thing I remember was looking up and seeing this white guitar coming at me....I don't know how long this continued but the girl finally stormed out of the room with the guitar that she was supposed to have bought for him. After that little exhibition was over, he had to figure out some way to get his guitar back because that was the only one he had at that time, and he could hardly afford to buy one...got in touch with her and with some smooth-talking managed to persuade her to bring the guitar back, but her conditions were that he had to get rid of me. And so he told her he would so that she'd bring it back. Then he told me to wait in the lobby so she wouldn't see me when she came to return the guitar...he told me afterwards that he'd to make love to her to quiet her down and pacify her...
as told by his former girlfriend Kathy Etchingham
Friday, August 25, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
- UCI is organising a workshop on Chocolates, Cakes, Candles (Basic, Advance & Carving), La'masa, Murals, Paper Punching, Quilling & Tea Bag Folding, Spice and pulses Frame, Flowers (Fabric, Crystal, Beads, Sequence), Hot and Cold Ceramics, M-Seal and Paper Meche (Hand Molding, Sculpture, Egyptian Statue), Parchament Craft, Needle Work (Ribbon Embroidery & Imitation Jewelry) International Gift Wrapping, Wedding-trousseau packing, Tie-n-dye, Paintings (Warli, Madhubani, Decoupage, Black Mirror, Emboss, Fabric, Pot, Lepan work, Stain Glass, Nib and Sand), Decorative Shoe making, Washable Table Mats, Rubber Moulds, Ribbon Bows, Pot Designing, Screen and Block Printing, Aluminum and Jute Net basket and more. Call 93xxx for more details.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Monday, August 21, 2006
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Friday, August 18, 2006
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Monday, August 14, 2006
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Friday, August 11, 2006
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
Doctor's office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
In Aamchi Mumbai restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
The best!!! In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET
COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS - WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
The best!!!! In a Japanese cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Swami xxxxyyyy , the 14th world vibration since 1987 .
NO EXTERMINATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION"
Monday, July 10, 2006
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Monday, June 26, 2006
Saturday, June 24, 2006
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Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Friday, June 16, 2006
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Section 160 of IT Act, 1961 provides that a non-resident, a minor, lunatic, idiot, and court of wards and such other persons may be represented through a Representative Assessee. In such cases, application for PAN will be made by the Representative Assessee.
Monday, June 05, 2006
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Thursday, June 01, 2006
All drinking water in this establishment has been personally passed by the manager.
Sign on a famous beauty parlor window:
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your Grandmother!!
Sign in a bar :
Those....drinking to forget... please pay in advance.
Seen on a bulletin board :
Success is relative. More the success, more the relatives.
Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay :
We need your heads to run our business.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Saturday, May 27, 2006
I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?
The girl with the mirror please comes here...(mirror = specs)
You, meet me behind the class. (behind = after)
Sorry I am late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons ( muttons= goats)
This college strict u the worry not .... U get good marks, I the happy, tomorrow u get good job, jpr the happy, tomorrow u marry I the enjoy
No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today...
All of you stand in a straight circle.
There is no wind in the balloon.
You, rotate the ground four times...
You, go and understand the tree...
You three of you stand together separately.
Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre
Both of u three get out of the class.
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
Take 5 cm wire of any length....
Friday, May 26, 2006
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Friday, May 19, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Monday, May 15, 2006
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Monday, May 01, 2006
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
our only assets are comfort and sympathy
Monday, April 24, 2006
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Monday, April 17, 2006
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Friday, April 14, 2006
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
i want to pee"
"pepe-choda" (papaya fucker)
- seen on the back of two seats in a kullu bus, in bengali no less
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Friday, April 07, 2006
Monday, April 03, 2006
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Friday, March 31, 2006
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
"As I am suffering from my uncle's marriage I cannot attend the class...."
2. A candidate's application :
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a 'typist and an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both, I am applying for the post."
3. I.T.I., Bangalore:
An employee applied for leave as follows :
"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one-week leave. "
4. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows :
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
5. A leave letter to the headmaster :
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
6. An incident of a leave letter :
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."
7. Another leave letter written to the headmaster :
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day. "
8. A covering note :
"I am enclosed herewith..."
9. From H.A.L. Administration dept :
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
10. Actual letter written for application of leave :
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
11. Letter writing :
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."
12. Another gem from I.T.I. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding :
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."
- received by email
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Monday, March 20, 2006
In plant , safety first
--seen on a highway in Assam
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Do you know who I am...
Biplab From G.O.D
(and in a corner near the hem of the kurta):
G.O.D. - Garden Of Death
-seen in Kolkata
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
-heard all over India, circa 1995
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Friday, March 03, 2006
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Monday, February 13, 2006
-"Two in the front, two at the back."
-"How do you fit five Prime Ministers in the car?"
-"Two in front, two at the back, and Rajiv Gandhi in an ashtray."
--overheard at Forum, Elgin Road.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Friday, February 10, 2006
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Monday, February 06, 2006
(Translation: Bobby is coming to Bankura. Dirty dancing, Rishi Kapoor! Steamy sex, Dimple! Special atraction!!! Special attraction!!! There's a separate place for women to piss!)
-heard in Bankura