I was born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse.

-- T-shirt on young man near Jadavpur Police Station, Kolkata

This. Just in case you missed. Just in case.

"At a job interview our friend S....d was asked about his political leanings- whether he was far right, left of center or what? His reply: Up front!"

- seen here.

With Penis Enlarge Patch you can catch fish with your penis.

In my spam folder.

What has nine arms and rocks?

-- over lunch, today

(Def Leppard apparently, and I honestly didn't fucking know this till this afternoon)

Put your pants down here for best results

- seen at a cleaning store

Murray Ave., Pittsburgh