Although I'm a Christian myself but I've a great amount of respect for your religion [Buddhism].

- George W. Bush on his visit to Budapest
(heard on a Jay Leno show rerun the other night)

...me and my baby in '69

- the last line in "Summer of '69" as he sings it

(lyrics everywhere read otherwise though)

...He had an incredible sexual appetite and would often sleep with three or four girls in the same night...had a great choice (Many times he told me casually about the times he'd be with four women in one big bed)...

... He went as he would have wanted: stoned in bed with a beautiful girl and without any pain...

...one of the most frightening things to happen to me was an incident concerning this chick...were asleep in the bed one morning and the first thing I remember was looking up and seeing this white guitar coming at me....I don't know how long this continued but the girl finally stormed out of the room with the guitar that she was supposed to have bought for him. After that little exhibition was over, he had to figure out some way to get his guitar back because that was the only one he had at that time, and he could hardly afford to buy one...got in touch with her and with some smooth-talking managed to persuade her to bring the guitar back, but her conditions were that he had to get rid of me. And so he told her he would so that she'd bring it back. Then he told me to wait in the lobby so she wouldn't see me when she came to return the guitar...he told me afterwards that he'd to make love to her to quiet her down and pacify her...

-- on the sexual exploits of the late great Mr. Jimi Hendrix
as told by his former girlfriend Kathy Etchingham

Ek chhobolei chhobi.

-(ad for Mithunda's latest Bengali flick, Abhimanyu - Morte Na, Maarte Esechhe)

Muscular Bhavan aasche, Muscular...

-(as the bus approaches Max Mueller Bhavan on Ballygunge Circular Road, Kolkata)

Testicle, testicle...

-(cry by bus conductors as the bus approaches the Indian Statistical Institute on B.T. Road, Kolkata)

Leeches with Ice-cream.

-(Menu item at very posh Northwest-Frontier restaurant on Chowringhee)

UCI is organising a workshop on Chocolates, Cakes, Candles (Basic, Advance & Carving), La'masa, Murals, Paper Punching, Quilling & Tea Bag Folding, Spice and pulses Frame, Flowers (Fabric, Crystal, Beads, Sequence), Hot and Cold Ceramics, M-Seal and Paper Meche (Hand Molding, Sculpture, Egyptian Statue), Parchament Craft, Needle Work (Ribbon Embroidery & Imitation Jewelry) International Gift Wrapping, Wedding-trousseau packing, Tie-n-dye, Paintings (Warli, Madhubani, Decoupage, Black Mirror, Emboss, Fabric, Pot, Lepan work, Stain Glass, Nib and Sand), Decorative Shoe making, Washable Table Mats, Rubber Moulds, Ribbon Bows, Pot Designing, Screen and Block Printing, Aluminum and Jute Net basket and more. Call 93xxx for more details.

- Announcement in Hindustan Times, Bombay

First time in India: Co-Moulded Caps!

- Ad for new Montex ballpen, on back of BEST bus, Bombay
(I don't know what co-moulded caps are).

-- Sinclairs Hotels and Transportation Ltd, located very appropriately on Free School Street. (Tip of the hat to Bilu.)

i am so sentimental so please don't avoid me.

-- "about me" entry on Orkut

Gas & Beyond

-- catchline of GAIL (India) Limited aka Gas Authority of India Limited.

- poster, seen in Prague

(photo courtesy Mangs)

[post corrected]

Kodak, Fujifilm, Pepsi, Cock, Soda, Leman.

(in larger Devanagari font) Chhan Chhanaa Chhan Music Centre

-- Signboard of Akash Audio and Cold Drink Shop, somewhere between Uttarkashi and Gangotri

REMOVE OUTER PACKING BEFORE CONSUMPTION

- Printed on plastic that is used to individually wrap Britannia Processed Cheddar cheese slices
("A glass of COW'S MILK in every slice").

Ya malik kyon banaya motor banane wale ko?
Ghar se beghar kar diya motor chalane wale ko.

[Poor translation:
Oh Master why did you make the car makers?
You took car drivers from their homes and made them homeless.]

-Sticker on dashboard of taxi, Bombay.

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Doctor's office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

In Aamchi Mumbai restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

The best!!! In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET
COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS - WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

The best!!!! In a Japanese cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

--by e-mail